Will You Ever Understand - By: Vanessa

I sit here trying to remissness in the old days when everything use to make sense and the tears that fell from my face never really happened understand what words i wish to yell from the tops of my lungs are words that are hiding in my own whispers you will never know... how hard  i try to keep my head up and yet you try and knock me down with every step that i take i am strong. at least that is what i use to think i cover my face and hide behind a smile and i bet you still would never understand . how i cry my self to sleep as i think about all of the times that you said that you will always be here for me but really you never were from the minute that i was born till the second that i die you wont be. I just walk down this path feeling alone and consumed covering the burns on my arms that i once created so that i wouldn't hurt anybody. I'm walking down the valley of darkness my heart is shattered and my eyes are watering the ground but that is something that you will never see..you will never know how i touch her lips with mine once and now i walk around with a rainbow in my heart full of pride you will never know that i hold him tight and i choose to never let go understanding life is my goal . you will never know that i laid in a hospital bed begging for another story to unfold but old to find out that i had one. just inside of me. you will never know how badly i can bend and break to a limit that has no shallow end. will you ever understand ? how i can smile and cry about a million reasons and you will never ask why? maybe thats why i cry. finally you will never understand those nights were i catch a cloud with a rumbling belly those days were their is no money to fill it. how can you complain that you have nothing when you have everything? how can you complain about life when yours is so sweet. you would never understand what its like to go years with the same cloths you will never understand what it really feels like to go nights sleeping on a hard bed because at least you had a bed. instead of the cold concrete scratching at your back. so ill ask you once more will you ever understand?

-vanessa